ramenth
Well-Known Member
Hey, folks.
Most of you on here know what the wife and I are going through with her brain tumor. She's out of work, and because of the constant care she needs I've been "forced" to close up shop, meaning that now, so I am.
I'm one of those guys who likes to plan things out in advance as far as our finances go, what needs to be budgeted for, what needs to be saved for. It's meant that some of ducks are in a row, but it won't be before too long, some of those ducks will scatter and head off in different directions. Some of those ducks will need to be just be shot in head and forgotten about.
The lack of uncertainty can be...disquieting...to say the least. I know I'm not alone in this. There's folks here who are in the same position, or may know of someone in this kind of position.
My wife's illness is a priority. She's my priority. But the weight of the world is weighing on me. You see, in the role of caregiver I've taken on all the burdens that she previously had. The things she used to enjoy doing are now mine to do for her. It makes her feel helpless, not being able to do those things, which stresses her. Now that I've taken on those tasks, as well as the things I do, it stresses me to ensure those things get done. Since she's had to scale back I've also had to help her find other things to fill her day with. Which ain't easy. Here's a woman who's used to being busy with work and busy at home being told she can't do certain things, especially in her gardens, here and at work.
Of course, that speaks of just the physical limitations. There's also the mental limitations. She can be downright paranoid at times. A paranoia which can manifest itself in different ways, which blocks out all rational thought. Rational thought itself can take a back seat and common sense flies out the window. Yesterday I found her trying to take an entire 25 pounds of sugar out of storage and never once did it occur to her that all she needed was a cup and that could have been taken from the canister I keep sugar in for my coffee, sitting right on the counter, by the coffee pot, in front of her.
Then there's the emotional stress. We're both scared shitless over this. Sorry, I know, I usually edit those words as I post, but somehow s***less just doesn't convey the importance of it. One of my jobs of husband and caregiver is to not let her see how scared I am. Keeping a poker face while we discuss our options can be emotionally draining.
So, let's recap: finances are going to get tight. Physical stress is heaped on. Keeping her on an even keel and thinking things through. Emotional stress. Did I forget anything? I'm sure I did, so forgive me.
It's said that God never puts more on our plate than we can handle. At times, though, we look at Him and ask Him to keep that serving of mashed 'taters, or to just keep a few more peas in the bowl, 'cause that plate is looking mighty full.
If you're needing that moral support, please, speak up.
If you're one of those who can offer that moral support, please, speak up. A few PM's, maybe a few phone calls, just to give someone a chance to have someone to talk to, can go a long way to helping us look at those two or three extra peas on the plate and realize they ain't so much.
If you know of someone on here who might be in dire need of financial support, please, let us know. Personally I can't give a lot, I may be asking ya'll for help myself.
If you're one on here who can spare a few bucks to help a brother, please, speak up, even if just in PM to the person in need, and help in that way, if you can.
Most of you on here know what the wife and I are going through with her brain tumor. She's out of work, and because of the constant care she needs I've been "forced" to close up shop, meaning that now, so I am.
I'm one of those guys who likes to plan things out in advance as far as our finances go, what needs to be budgeted for, what needs to be saved for. It's meant that some of ducks are in a row, but it won't be before too long, some of those ducks will scatter and head off in different directions. Some of those ducks will need to be just be shot in head and forgotten about.
The lack of uncertainty can be...disquieting...to say the least. I know I'm not alone in this. There's folks here who are in the same position, or may know of someone in this kind of position.
My wife's illness is a priority. She's my priority. But the weight of the world is weighing on me. You see, in the role of caregiver I've taken on all the burdens that she previously had. The things she used to enjoy doing are now mine to do for her. It makes her feel helpless, not being able to do those things, which stresses her. Now that I've taken on those tasks, as well as the things I do, it stresses me to ensure those things get done. Since she's had to scale back I've also had to help her find other things to fill her day with. Which ain't easy. Here's a woman who's used to being busy with work and busy at home being told she can't do certain things, especially in her gardens, here and at work.
Of course, that speaks of just the physical limitations. There's also the mental limitations. She can be downright paranoid at times. A paranoia which can manifest itself in different ways, which blocks out all rational thought. Rational thought itself can take a back seat and common sense flies out the window. Yesterday I found her trying to take an entire 25 pounds of sugar out of storage and never once did it occur to her that all she needed was a cup and that could have been taken from the canister I keep sugar in for my coffee, sitting right on the counter, by the coffee pot, in front of her.
Then there's the emotional stress. We're both scared shitless over this. Sorry, I know, I usually edit those words as I post, but somehow s***less just doesn't convey the importance of it. One of my jobs of husband and caregiver is to not let her see how scared I am. Keeping a poker face while we discuss our options can be emotionally draining.
So, let's recap: finances are going to get tight. Physical stress is heaped on. Keeping her on an even keel and thinking things through. Emotional stress. Did I forget anything? I'm sure I did, so forgive me.
It's said that God never puts more on our plate than we can handle. At times, though, we look at Him and ask Him to keep that serving of mashed 'taters, or to just keep a few more peas in the bowl, 'cause that plate is looking mighty full.
If you're needing that moral support, please, speak up.
If you're one of those who can offer that moral support, please, speak up. A few PM's, maybe a few phone calls, just to give someone a chance to have someone to talk to, can go a long way to helping us look at those two or three extra peas on the plate and realize they ain't so much.
If you know of someone on here who might be in dire need of financial support, please, let us know. Personally I can't give a lot, I may be asking ya'll for help myself.
If you're one on here who can spare a few bucks to help a brother, please, speak up, even if just in PM to the person in need, and help in that way, if you can.
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